Sunday, March 08, 2009

Primus Still Sucks

This is a little game I've been playing. Sticking lines of Primus songs in the status line on Effbook. Lately I've been feeling like I suck. I figured a way to fight it off was some company for my misery. And nobody sucks like Primus!

For those who aren't up on the terminology, "Primus Sucks!" is actually a heartfelt cry of adoration, uttered by many a faithful fan over the years. It started out with a heckler at a long-ago Primus show. Les Claypool, ever the wizzard of words, wasted no time turning the cry back on itself to help promote the band. Not a show goes by without the front man himself uttering the phrase.

Casual fans are often in the dark about this particular practice though and often with amusing results. I was in the crowd at Ozzfest in '97 or '98 when Primus was on the bill. My two good friends and I were happily chanting away between songs and some younger fans behind us were getting pretty upset. The commentary started, "Who the hell are these guys? Primus doesn't suck!" On and on it went until it sounded like they wanted to start something. Then, at the precise moment when Mr. Claypool introduced the band, three headbangers (all in excess of six foot two) wheeled around on the shrimps and tossed off a hearty, "PRIMUS SUCKS!"

So if you didn't know, now you do. Anyone can bring a smile to the face of a fan with a casual quote of that now famous epithet. And as for myself, nothin' says lovin' like a little casual self deprecation. I'm feeling much better now. Here are some recent quotes from my Effbook page. Feel free to stop by and play along. If you're not a friend yet hit me up. There's a link over on the right. Let me know you're a reader.

Mar 5 6:27pm

Jon is grabbin' himself a can of Pork Soda.
Sean at 6:31pm March 5 via Facebook Mobile
Primus!! Woo hoo!!
Michael at 6:39pm March 5
Ain't nothin' quite like sittin' 'round the house
Swillin' down them Cans of swine
Sean at 6:44pm March 5 via Facebook Mobile
6 foot 2 and rude as hell, gotta gethim in the ground before he starts smell.
Brian at 7:22pm March 5
Now listen up you know ya come home from working that nine to five and lay yourself down on burgundy couch, you know, it never really was burgundy. It was red, and you painted with the goddamn sprinkler and now you have bits and pieces of burgundy stuck to your butt every time you get off of it. You never tell your family, you never tell your family because, you know, ol' Junior, he's got no brains, and what can you do? What can you do?
Jon Dayton at 11:55pm March 5
Dude! You guys are totally jumpin the gun. One song at a time.
Sarah at 4:11am March 6
Yeah, I'm still trying to deal with the imaginary Pork Soda taste in my mouth.

Mar 7 1:42pm -
Jon is Alouicious Devandoner Abercrombie, that's long for mud.
Michael at 1:44pm March 7
Michael Joseph Patrick O'Connor, that's long for drunk
Michael at 1:46pm March 7
Kevin at 1:48pm March 7
Hey, why all the hatin' on Primus? Jerry Was a Race car Driver is a classic!
Amanda at 1:59pm March 7
please tell me that's what you're naming the kid.
Matt at 3:41am March 8 I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat. Primus Sucks
Jon Dayton at 1:42pm March 8
We're actually torn between Thermal Atmos Dayton and Felix Blackthorn Daton. :)

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