Monday, March 09, 2009

Ennui

The French word for boredom. It's more nuanced than that but it's a good start. I've been so wracked by my life lately that I've kind of lost the enthusiasm for writing that I had earlier in the year. What started out as a small diversion has now displaced TV completely from my life and connected me with all kinds of new friends. But I've been slacking. I actually lost a follower on this blog.

It's defiantly not the experience that's wearing my down though. The chance to sit down nearly every night and take a more focused look at some part of my life is not something I think I'm ever interested in giving up. This last year has been a real kick in the pants and my writing has served as a pressure release and a magnifying glass for the things that bring me joy. Coming up on my 200th post and a text from a friend kind of woke me up a little today.
Prayers being lifted up for you man. Would love to raise your roof with you. [re: need to put on an extra bedroom for the new baby.] I know it has been totally shitty for you for over a year now. Thanks for coming last night with the fam.

My response was something like, "Dang! It has been over a year of suck. Where's the schnapps?!" All joking aside though, here's what the last fourteen months have been like for me.

  • Out of work for two months
  • Got incredibly difficult job that barely paid the bills
  • Nearly got caught up somehow
  • Found out we were expecting our fourth
  • Got worn down to nothing by said job
  • Tried to leave and got into a horrible pressure situation with the boss
  • Cried out in desperation.
  • Got new job that paid slightly better
  • Got worn down to nothing by new job
  • Found out that bosses running job are out of touch and nothing will change
  • Still can't get caught up.
  • Would much rather be doing audio work but the scene is flat
Yeah... life with a capital MEH. Not that there haven't been some pretty sweet moments in there. But really, two years ago I was mixing my little hienie off and filling in with a little electrical work. Now I'm slaving away at a dead end job and scrambling to get enough time off to mix the few gigs that do come along.

Somebody pointed something out to me in a conversation about all the rats that have jumped ship (despite the economy, it's that bad). It's always better to look for work when you already have a job. So at least I've got that going for me. I hate to say it's a vow or anything, but I'm hoping to finally hitch up my pants here and see if I can't do what I love for a living.

Here's hopin... now where's that schnapps?



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1 comment:

  1. you must be funkified if you are looking for schnapps. because we only serve bourbon here. hope that doesn't add another item to the list of suck.

    and really? things will be fine.

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