Wednesday, January 21, 2009

More About Metal

I was feeling a little sluggish when it was time to do the dishes tonight. The obvious solution was to whip out the iPod, grab the cans (headphones) and slap on some Pantera. As the cups and saucers flew into the dishwasher to the heady strains of "Revolution Is My Name" my mind started drifting to why I like metal so much and why I'm so nonplussed by most of the Christian variety.

As the song came crashing over the bridge into a that discordant section where the melody is defined by pairs of notes that would normally eye each other suspiciously from across the room that are crammed together and twisted up out of tune... it hit me. More than just being an adrenaline rush, the music is an expression of the discord in my life.

As "I'm Broken" started grinding and Phil was screaming it at the top of his lungs I felt my self scraping the dried on crust of the world off the bottom of my soul. Silently screaming along so as not to wake the Short People I cleared up some of my grudge against the world.

How could I get along with this stuff? Forget the world at large let's just talk about the stuff that's right here, sucking at my pant legs like sewage. I live in a world where one of my schoolmates was whored out so her mom could buy coke. I can't swing a dead cat without hitting a friend who was abused as a child. My contemporaries continue the cycle with their own broken families. My brother and I all but killed ourselves with drugs.

Having dredged up heaping fistfuls of this sludge that had accumulated in the recesses of my soul I retreated to the shop where I could scream along and hurl it away unhindered. I flung it away where it can seep into the frozen ground and cease to torment me, for a while. The way I'm built and what I've been through it just has to be on the agenda to occasionally let rip with a roaring

Cause yesterday dont mean shit
Whats over is over and nothing between
Yesterday dont mean shit
Because tomorrows the day you have to face
Theres no rewinding time

I guess in a screwed up kind of way I was sort of praying. If God can tolerate Pantera lyrics he heard me admit to being utterly broken by the world, seeking His cleansing and vowing to move on anew. I know the songs aren't exactly about all that but when they roll for me, that's how I'm using them.

And this concludes our tour of The Cranium of the Christian From Hell, mind the sludge as you exit.

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1 comment:

  1. deep, great post Cuz.

    My hope is that God gets it, he has to or none of us would be here.


Keep it clean...