Thursday, November 13, 2008

there is no crying in baseball

It's The Missus, here, filling in for The Mister. He's having a rough time of it, and by having a rough time of it, let's just imagine that he cleaned up the kitchen, and discovered that I had been to the cheese store today. We call it the cheese store because pretty much all they sell is cheese. Also large meat sticks, apples, maple products, crackers (because, well, duh, of course they have crackers, it's a cheese store, for flip's sake), honey, and other weird things they call cheese, but are just too gross for words. Like Smoked Stilton with Cranberries and Blueberries. There's no need for smoking stilton, it already tastes like the bastard child of FEET and ASS. And fruity? With the feet and ass? It's just a mistake, that's all I'm saying.

Anyway, The Mister is a complete girl-child for cheese curds. Are you imagining clapping hands and doing the happy dance? Because I did not plant that idea in your heads, thankyouverymuch, you came up with that ON.YOUR.OWN.

And his Major Discovery? A medium-sized meat stick (pepperoni, if you must know, you pervs, it's pizza and a movie night tomorrow), and hot pepper flake cheese curds. And because I love that guy so stinking much, I got the chive flavoured curds, too. Do not mistake that for chive flavoured Kurds, as that will cause you to become involved in some serious international incident. Because, if I understand correctly, Kurds are religiously bound to remain chive-flavour-free after puberty.

Not really. I'm just making stuff up now, because I'm pretty tired, but even tired, I'm an overachiever, and I want you to have fun here, while The Mister is out in the "shop", reading what I'm typing in real time, and editing out the crap he doesn't want you to know about. Which will most likely include the entire paragraph that contains the phrase GIRL-CHILD.

So, as I was saying, he Majorly Discovered and Devoured most of a medium-sized meat stick, and most of two eight-ounce bags of curds. (We avoid Kurd bags at all cost, and you should, too.) This Majorly Devouring business has caused The Mister to be in need of some serious digestive enzyme action, along with a generous helping of probiotics, you know, as if our bodies are designed to actually digest pepperoni, and the grease it's bathed in.

I felt it was necessary to take matters into my own hands, and also take the liberty to hijack, er, guest post over here to insure that The Mister does not lose his game of NaBloBlahBlah, and that you, his loyal readers, have something to entertain you tomorrow.

Think of us, his loving wife and adorable children, while we sit freezing in our home, with the doors and windows open, and the fans blowing. Why would you do that in the middle of November? you ask kindly.

Super spicy cheese curds and a big honking meat stick.

That's all I'm saying.

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15 comments:

  1. Seriously - you (Pamela of course) talk about the best foods - and it always make wonder what I am missing... Corfu's Cheese Store???

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  2. Ain't she the greatest folks? When she's on she is ON!

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  3. And the cheese store is Kutter's

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  4. I'm sorry, but I just can't get by the fact that you said the words "meat stick" at least four times.

    I'm totally being mature and not giggling about that right now.

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  5. Ohhhh how I love cheese curd, especially garlic-flavored. From up in the North Country. The brand name is escaping me at the moment because all I can think about is getting my hands on some. Let me tell you, paired with a super-hoppy IPA, there is NOTHING better. Except fresh air.

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  6. I love that all the comments so far are about curds and meat stick. That is wonderful.

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  7. I think the brand name of ours is Yancey's Fancy.

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  8. I want to say River Rat Cheese, or something. I know you can only get it up North around Watertown/Sackets Harbor.

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  9. vanessa10:27 AM

    you can get river rat cheese in little ole' Wyoming Ny and they will ship it....place is called Silas Newells Provisions.

    just my 2cents

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  10. Good to know. Perhaps I was mistaken. I'm not sure if that's the kind we normally get when up North but the name rings a bell and I'm sure I've had it before.

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  11. Cheese curds?! Is this something they only have on the East Coast or something?

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  12. Okay, Super Spicy Cheese Curds and Big Honking Meat Stick should be the name of my first album or the attraction at a state fair. OR.....A FOOD ITEM AT THE STATE FAIR. Oh dear, I just can't decide!

    I live sooooo close to a cheese factory and get to pick up the curds when their not even cold yet. YUUUUMMMMM.

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  13. Plums. Or a Russian enema. You know what that is, right? Vodka and Prune Juice.

    Just sayin.

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  14. You don't have curds on the west coast? Really? Well, they're like tofu except they're made out of milk instead of pretend stuff.

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  15. I like that both The Mister and The Missus have blogs. His and her blogs, if you will.

    Now, I know it's getting late, but all of this talk of different sized meat sticks and curds---was this whole post about sex, or food? I'm not sure.

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Keep it clean...