Monday, October 20, 2008

I'm Sorry

Welp! It's been a while but it's never that long between times putting my foot in my mouth that I forget the taste of boot leather. I put a rant down in writing and mostly people thought it was funny. Somebody thought it was hurtful.

In a way, I'm glad to have deviated from my usual task of making fun of myself and my immediate family and lighted on something that touched a nerve. Everyone who writes wants their words to affect their readers. Usually I'm looking for a laugh, but sometimes it's serious. All the best things are offensive, new forms of art and music, religion, and most of all the truth. The truth stings more often than not and so we dance around it. I, for one, will not ever apologize for telling the truth.

Offensive though. I've gone and offended myself. Saying something offensive is one thing, saying something hurtful is quite another and I'm sad tonight that I've done it that way. An annoying thing about me is that when I'm bothered about something I do two things. The first is to bitch about something else, and the second is to ignore in myself the things that I am complaining about.

So when I'm hung up about quitting smoking I rail about fat people. Not a lot of sense in that but it's the case. Really, I'm pissed at me. I'm looking at friends of mine that are shortening their lives with their eating habits and carefully avoiding pointing the finger at myself about tobacco. Sure, nicotine is as addictive as heroin and much more readily available. Food tickles the brain's pleasure centers in much the same way. What's bad for you feels pretty good, whatever it may be.

I've ended twice already with this thought. If someone you love is in some way shortening their life, you need to act. There's really not much you can say or do so you'll have to really think this out if you're going to pursue it. The key is to do it in love. Find some way to express your love for someone, and in that same moment, add in that you're not willing to let them shorten their time with you. Do it gently. Addiction is the exact opposite of good sense and in that, we addicts are as defensive as can be.

I think I had more to say but being sad takes a lot of energy and I was already tired.

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  1. vanessa10:29 AM

    i did not mean for my post to make you sad...i do not every want to hurt my favorite sound man and his beautiful family...I know you have the heart of a servant and the will of a steal trap. your love and committment to your wife and family is evident in all you do. I love the little snap shots you and your misses let me see of your lives - joys and struggles. I cant believe that you are gonna be the father of 4...and to see you be so successful at it is just wonderful. I hope the misses realizes she is a miracle worker of change. She took a rough around the edges crazy sound guy and turned him into a hard working responsible daddy in a very short time...oh- the power of love!

    I understand how your rant could come about - and yes it hit a nerve...cuz i am having a hell of a time losing my baby weight - the weight i'v had since i was a baby and since i have had babies:)!

    I try to eat health - I was gonna start stopping in to the dayton house around dinner time a few days a week...but thought that would be obvious that i was covitting your wife's organic healthy cooking!

    I wish i would have seen the humor in your post..but i just saw it as hurtful and mean -along with the comments.

    remember - fat people have feelings ! :)_

  2. I didn't mean to offend, either, Vanessa, and I apologize. And you can and should come to my house any time you want, coveting or no. We don't require a reason.

  3. vanessa11:01 AM

    I think it was just out of character of my favorite family and caught me off guard.

    You may reconsider the open door little guys can be a handful when they intermingle with new lttle people.

    Please give the mister a big hug and I will stop by with apple pie for some of your famous coffee....I really dont want him to be sad cuz of me!

    love ya

  4. Ooohhh....come by tonight because he'll be gone and you and I can eat the pie all by ourselves.

    And your kids? Don't scare me. Really.

  5. Thanks Vanessa, for that shot of perspective. I keep forgetting that I have more readers than my wife and occasionally my brother-in-law like when I started out.

  6. vanessa10:28 AM

    I really enjoy your writting and the window you and pamela create into your family. You have a special place in my life - like an old high school yearbook ....i love to remember those times..cant go back cuz life is so different - in a great way - now, but still gives you warm feelings when you remember yesterday and the people that made up those times. - like you and "fluffy" and the DAH guys. Good times as they say.


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