Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Time Off

I don't know which is worse, really needing time off, or getting it. If any one reading this hasn't been following along I've been extricating myself from one job and preparing to start another since the middle of August. September is always the end of a long, hard pull for me anyway, but this year I had a truck load of anxiety and depression thrown in as well.

Last Friday saw me leaving my old job for the last time. I'll check in once in a while to make sure my replacement is doing all right but my obligations there are fulfilled. I also left Friday for a weekend gig. There's nothing like working all week and then working all weekend to really grind a fella down, especially at the end of a long, hard pull.

To top it off, I didn't know Sunday night if the new job would call me in to work or not on Monday. I had already been given the job, had my orientation and physical and was just waiting the results of a blood test to come in before I could start. Hospitals are pretty serious about contagion and I had to get poked a dozen or so times to make sure I wasn't carrying anything and to make sure I have antibodies for all the major afflictions. Turns out I do but the word didn't come in until late Tuesday.

With the finances a little tight, I probably should have gone off and done some side work to keep a little money coming in, but I felt like I had a blanket wrapped around my head. To be specific, a pretty nice blanket. A hand quilted number that had been through the wash recently. I say this for clarification because when I get that sensation when I'm trying to function it usually feels like an old wool army blanket.

So, I didn't do much. Which is odd for me. I saw the kids off to their respective schools, which isn't something the new gig is going to allow for much, so that was nice. I helped The Missus skin some grapes for jam and pie and that was about it on the work front. I read a few inches of a Tom Clancy book and fell asleep in the middle of the afternoon. I felt like a retired guy.

Tuesday wasn't much better. Got the kids off and running and did a whole lotta nothing all morning. I had intended to be a lean, mean, cleaning machine... but I fell asleep again and all I managed to clean was myself, slipping in a quick shower before I picked up J-Man from nursery school. I did manage to squeeze in a tiny electrical job in the afternoon, but for all intents and purposes I was snoozing then too.

So here I sit. Ready to hit the hay a full two hours early. Ready to start a job that begins at seven and ends at three, reliably. Trying to remember what a coffee break is like. Hoping my uniform fits and doesn't make me feel like a drone. I feel like I ought to be having some sort of anxiety right now, but the blanket is back. I had forgotten what it feels like to feel OK. G'nite.

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