Thursday, May 08, 2008

Quote of the Day - Hey Man

When I was in college, there was a student technical director in the theater department who, when bumped into from behind, without fail would utter the phrase:

"Hey MAN! Dats my culo!"

I'm not exactly sure that I'm spelling that right, but he was from Texas and had picked up the Spanish slang for butt down there and used it frequently. I had started using the phrase on and off when the short people, who come up to just about there on me, slam in to me. Number One Son picked up on it and I got a text message (while clinging to a roof top at work) that reported him as saying:

"Hay, kitty man... dats my poodle!"

As if that wasn't funny enough, it came up again at the dinner table and my daughter's friend listened attentively, mulled it over, and then in a lull in the conversation popped up with:

"Hey man... that's my NOOOODLE!"

My bark of laughter was so loud she actually jumped a little, and the baby who is a social laugher, joined in with a fit of guffawing. I wish I knew where Christian was now so I could tell him what a lot of mileage my family just got out of his little line.

Since I haven't anything else of real substance to write about, here's another little verbal tickle that's been making me smirk lately. One of the local lighting techs is a guy names Atlas. I think he's in his early fifties, but he looks like he's been through the war, possibly the Spanish-American war. He has none of his teeth and refuses to wear his dentures, giving rise to the oft-repeated, "Hey Atlas... put yer teeth in, yer scarin' the girls!" at shows. He's been smoking cheap cigarettes since the cradle and as a result has a voice as gravelly as the Maine coastline. Of the numerous zingers that cross his puckered lips, of the few that are actually intelligible, the only one that's fit for print has been making me chuckle without fail this week:

"Hey, howzit goin' monkey gibblets?"

That might possibly be in the category of you-had-to-be-there, but it makes the kids laugh too when I do it in his voice. Anyway, tuck that one in the back of your cranium and pull it out sometime when you want to throw some one off kilter when you meet them unexpectedly.

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